Torn Apart by Aria Adams

Author:Aria Adams [Adams, Aria]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Katie Douglas
Published: 2019-11-14T16:00:00+00:00

Aylia:

I couldn’t look at Prince Edward. I was too ashamed. Now he knew I wasn’t a good girl, I was a slut, would he treat me the same way as my master had? It was probably all I was worth. I hated remembering how I’d reacted, even that very first time my master had touched me. The echo of my own voice, telling him I belonged to him, giving myself to him, begging him to keep hurting me, made me cringe in shame.

I should have fought harder. Ought to have let my master kill me rather than keep me alive the way he did, only using me for his own amusement. But I was a coward. I’d been too scared to fight back harder. Too fearful of what he might do. So I’d let him do anything he liked, in the hope it would placate him.

And in my mind, every time he hurt me for the sake of it, he’d gotten stronger, and I had grown weaker, until even the idea of resisting was forgotten.

Long after I’d ever heard a single kind word from him, I had still praised myself for bearing what he did to me, and feeling good that I’d averted whatever he might have done if I’d shown any resistance. My own anxieties had kept me his prisoner as much as his shows of power. And he’d stoked them. Played on my weaknesses because I had so many. Taught me new things to fear until all I dared do was anything he told me. Now, I was disgusted with myself.

Edward ought to be, too.

When Edward kissed me on the forehead, my heart clenched in surprise. It was followed by a pang of fear. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to start something. After all, if I’d given myself so easily to my master, surely the prince would know he could take whatever he wanted from me.

I was more than a little surprised, then, when Edward moved back after his chaste kiss. I’d thought it was the precursor to something more intimate but apparently, he had other ideas. The next thought that hit me was too obvious. He’d never want to do anything now. After all, I was tainted. It was difficult to reconcile my fear of Edward trying to take possession of me with my fear of being rejected by him.

I didn’t know which was worse. I just wanted him to treat me like any other girl, but how could he, now? I wished I hadn’t told him, but at the same time, I had been holding onto all the memories, the pain, the sadness and shame, for so long, and now I’d started sharing them, I wasn’t sure I knew how to stop myself.

“Was that the only time you saw him?” Edward asked.

Oh, if only.

“No.” My voice was small. I desperately wanted all this negativity gone, all the memories were constantly swirling around me, smothering me with everything I shouldn’t have done—and everything I didn’t do.

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